According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the bestselling book The Five Love Languages, there are five love languages that describe the different ways we feel loved. In his years acting as a couple’s counselor, Dr. Chapman noticed that people tend to have one main love language. He also noticed that people who were able to “speak” their partner’s top love language had more successful relationships. Per Dr. Chapman, understanding your partner’s love language and making an effort to show your love through it allows you to love better and, ultimately, deepen your bond with your partner.
The five love languages are quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service, and words of affirmation. No matter which love language your partner “speaks,” we’re here to help you make their Valentine’s Day the best yet with this guide to expressing each of the love languages. In our love language gift guide, we’re summarizing each of the five love languages, then giving you ideas on how to express them this Valentine’s Day.
Give your partner the gift of your undivided attention this Valentine’s Day.
If your partner’s love language is quality time, they adore it when you spend quality time together. “Quality” is the key word here, since people with this love language feel loved when you give them your undivided attention. If your partner’s primarily love language is quality time, you should prioritize regularly spending time with them with no distractions.
Someone with the quality time love language would be thrilled with so many Valentine’s Day activities– just as long as you put your smartphone away and make sure to focus on your partner during them. Some ideas of romantic activities for your quality-time-loving Valentine include taking a walk in the park, having a romantic candlelit dinner at home, taking a virtual art class together, or going on a road trip to a place they’ve been dreaming of visiting.
Holding hands this Valentine’s Day will make their heart skip a beat.
If your partner has the physical touch love language, they feel loved when you show them affection through physical touch. Physical displays of affection like kissing, hugging, cuddling, and holding hands make a person with this love language feel connected, safe, and valued.
There are many ways to show your physical touch focused partner that you care about them this Valentine’s Day. You could watch their favorite movie while cuddling or holding hands, do some couples yoga together, exchange romantic massages, or cuddle up in your hot tub while sipping champagne. Additionally, if you got them a piece of jewelry (such as the halo diamond ring pictured above) as their gift this year, you can add a physical element to your gift by placing it on their finger, wrist, or neck yourself.
Someone with this love language adores receiving special, meaningful gifts.
People with the receiving gifts love language treasure receiving physical representations of their partner’s affections for them. A person with this love language loves to receive gifts, but note that the type of gift certainly matters. People with this love language feel most appreciated and valued when they receive meaningful and thoughtful gifts, gifts that make them feel like you spent time thinking of them.
If your partner has this love language, you have lots of options for your Valentine’s Day itinerary. Any date night activity that your partner normally enjoys will work well, just as long as you give them a special gift early on your celebrations. If you’re not sure what to gift your partner on Valentine’s Day, fine jewelry is always a wonderful choice for someone with this love language. Fine jewelry is special and beautiful, but can also be incredibly thoughtful when you pick out the right piece.
If you’re planning on proposing this Valentine’s Day, you can make your love’s engagement ring even better by tailoring it to her tastes and imbuing it with meaning. There are many ways to add meaning to an engagement ring, but one of our favorites is by choosing a center gemstone that represents something dear to you. For example, thanks to its beautiful blue center stone, a blue topaz engagement ring represents peace, honesty, and deep emotional attachment.
If you’re already married or just aren’t quite at the proposal stage yet, you have many other gorgeous options for your receiving-gifts-focused Valentine. An enduringly excellent Valentine’s Day gift would be a pair of diamond studs. A pair of diamond studs is something that your love can enjoy wearing every day for decades to come. Diamonds also represent eternity, so they’re always a romantic option.
Need more Valentine’s Day jewelry gift ideas? Discover a variety of gorgeous and meaningful jewelry pieces in our women’s jewelry gift guide.
Acts of Service
Give your love the gift of free time and relaxation this Valentine’s Day.
If your partner’s top love language is acts of service, they feel most loved when you complete tasks that make their life better or easier. An act of service can be virtually any action that your partner would like. It could be something that’s traditionally romantic, like cooking their favorite meal. But an act of service can also be a task that wouldn’t feel romantic to other people, like picking up the dry cleaning, organizing the pantry, or doing the dishes.
To express this love language on Valentine’s Day, you may want to think about whether or not there’s some type of chore, household project, or errand your partner has been meaning to do. It could mean the world to them if you completed this task without them having to ask. Some other ideas include making breakfast in bed for your partner (do the dishes too), drawing a romantic bath for your partner to relax in while you get things done around the house, or giving them a homemade coupon book that they can redeem for services.
Words of Affirmation
Spell out your love if your partner’s love language is words of affirmation.
People with the words of affirmation love language feel most loved when their partner expresses their love through verbal or written words of affirmation. This includes saying “I love you,” but also more specific affirmations. For example, it can be deeply meaningful when you tell someone with this love language why you’re proud of them, what you admire about them, and how much you believe in them.
To express this love language on Valentine’s Day, you can incorporate words of affirmation into your gift, your plans for the day, or both. Some gift ideas for someone with this love language include a handwritten love letter, a piece of jewelry with a thoughtful engraving or affirming meaning, or a playlist of songs that remind you of them. If you want to incorporate more words of affirmation into your plans, try sneakily putting up sweet post-it notes where your partner will see them throughout the day. Also, make an effort to up your verbal affirmations. Tell your partner why you love them out loud this Valentine’s Day.